It has been quite a while since I could plop him in my lap, engulf him in my arms, and provide the physical reassurance that he had a safe place to shelter. But that doesn't mean that he has lost his sanctuary. It simply means that it is not quite as tangible as when he was tiny and perhaps in the process it has become larger and easier to find.
We have attempted to make sure he has ample opportunity to find safe harbor. Our home. It's a safe haven for us all. It's the place where we can say and do and feel without worry of judgement. That doesn't mean it is free of conflict or consequence, only that we are all committed to working through both of these storms that can rock our collective boat.
The Boy knows that both Wonder Dad and I "have his back" both at home and out in the world. And as he starts to stretch the distances he will roam, he knows full well that he has a port to call home when the roaming is done.
This season of his growth is often trying for Wonder Dad and I.
We both face a mixed bag of feelings and expectations. On one side, we love watching him grow and develop into the man he will one day become. But with that metamorphosis, we also have to bid farewell to the little boy we have so long cherished. We want to see him leave the nest and soar to the highest of heights. But we do so with an edge of worry of all of the good and the bad that is out in the world, so far from our control or even influence.
Though he would never admit to it, I think Wonder Boy must be feeling some of this as well. I can see in his eyes, in the strain of every muscle how ready he is move on to the next chapter of his life. He is chomping at the bit to get started on really living!
But every once in a while I also see a slight hesitation about leaving our comfortable little nest. It is only the slightest of hesitations though.
Though I am far from it, Wonder Boy will be more than ready to spread his wings and fly. And it will come sooner rather than later.
I know he is holding his breath and counting the minutes, I am trying to hold on. Not so tight that he can't fly off ... no, just tight enough to remind him that we will ALWAYS be his safe space. That even once he creates his own little safe harbor somewhere, he'll always be able to find his way home.
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